The Beginning: Stats

Height: 5’7”
Weight: 165.8 pounds
Chest: 39”
Wrist: 6”
Bicep: 12”
Forearm: 10.5”
Waist: 39”
Hips: 39.5”
Thigh: 22.5”
Calf: 14.75”

Body Fat %: 27.10
Lean Body Mass: 120.86
Fat Mass: 44.94

BMR: 1553
TDEE: 2135

Wow, that’s a lot of information! On the plus side, I’m enjoying doing all these calculations and fitting these puzzle pieces together. It’s like CSI: My Body. I’m really looking forward to these numbers going down, down, down.

These numbers are giving me a starting point. Too often when trying to lose weight, I go all willy-nilly and confuse myself to death. Am I eating enough calories? Too much? What foods should I be eating? How much of each? How much should I exercise? When? What exercises should I do?

To be honest, I think this confusion is part of the reason I keep failing. I am one of those people who likes things laid out, in order. I like graphs and charts and formulas. I like organization. I’ve gone ahead, and started doing up an excel spreadsheet, to track my process and plan my approach. And now, I think, I’m finally onto something!

My goal is to lose 40(.8) pounds in 160 days- or 6 months. I’ve broken down my goal into two, smaller goals- I want to lose 25 pounds in the first three months, and 15.8 pounds in the last three months. I know that the smaller you are, the harder it is to lose weight- so I decided to break up my weight loss plan to account for that.
I am going for my own, personal version of “X-Weighted”, this show I watch on Slice, sometimes. These overweight people have six months to make a lifestyle change. At the half-way point they do a weigh in, and then again at the end of the six-month period.

I know now that my Basal Metabolic Rate is 1553. Factoring in my activity level, my total daily energy expended is 2135 calories. I want to lose 25 pounds in the first 90 days (and 15.8 pounds in the following 90 days), I know that I will need to lose 1.94 pounds per week during the first half of this program, and 1.24 pounds per week during the second half.

Since there are 3500 calories in a pound, in order to stay on track (based on the figures above) I need to create a calorie deficit of 6,790 calories per week (3500x1.94). That’s 970 calories per day (6790/7). So if I burn 2135 calories in a day, and I need to create a deficit of 970 calories per day… that means I can eat 1165 calories per day.

Wow. That’s hardly anything. :(

Ah, well… keep in mind, exercise burns calories! That’s right. My goal is to burn at least 200 calories per day through exercise (hopefully more, of course!). So if I subtract 200 from 970, that leaves me with 770… meaning I can eat 1365 calories per day! Hrm. That sounds a lot better! But that’s assuming I actually DO my exercises and don’t wimp out!

So, if I’m having a lazy-butt day and don’t feel like doing anything… fine. I only get 1165 calories per day to eat. Too bad, so sad. If I exercise, I can eat up to 1400 calories per day. Yay!

But: I MUST be careful not to start getting in the mindset of ‘rewarding’ myself with food. I’ve done that in the past. Let’s just say that the 200 calories I burn taking a nice long walk will be completely wasted if I reward myself with a 250 calorie chocolate bar. Know what I’m saying? Yes, keep that in mind, self!

Day One

NEW Journal Entry #1
For the Date Of: November 23, 2009

Food Eaten:

Breakfast: Oatmeal w/mashed banana. Sprinkled a little brown sugar on it, and drank a little pink lemonade. Note to self: INVEST IN MORE WATER FILTER AND CALORIE-FREE DRINK SINGLES! Total Calories: 460

Snack: Apple

Lunch: Michelina's Harmony BBQ Chicken and Rice Total Calories: 362

Dinner: Two hot dogs on enriched white bread Total Calories: 390

Snack: 1/2 cup mint chip ice cream, 2 cups air-popped popcorn, 1 piece of cake Total Calories: 601

Total Calories: 1813

Wow- off to a terrible start! But already, I've learned things. First of all, I need to make sure I have access to healthy beverages, which will keep me full longer and aren't full of calories.

I also need to seriously pay better attention to my portions. I had a healthy breakfast of oatmeal, but consumed more calories then when I ate an unhealthy dinner! This is because I actually paid careful attention to the calories I was eating at dinner.

Snack-wise, I made a good choice with the air-popped popcorn. Then it was complete and utter failsauce when I got super-hungry later on in the night and scarfed some cake and ice cream. Why? IT WAS THERE. Must get rid of temptation from the house!!!! Also, must save some of the calories throughout the day for a before-bed snack.

Most people say you shouldn't eat before bed, but I HAVE to. I'm still nursing through the night, and it just sucks up so much energy and calories that I'm literally waking up starving.

Failure is bad- but learning from failure, that's okay.

Workouts:

As I’ve mentioned previously, with the added ‘burden’ of another child to pay for, a gym membership is out of the question! I have wasted FAR too much money on memberships in the past, and I’m determined just to work out at home.

I'm going to spend as much time today as possible working on an exercise plan to figure out how many calories to burn. I want to do my 10 Minute Trainer DVDs for exercise, but I know I get bored easily, so I plan to mix it up as much as possible.

Tried getting some exercise in last night, but my little guy wanted to climb all over the stair-machine, so I only got in 300 steps (about 45 calories burned). Frustrating! Made note to self: Get up earlier tomorrow and do one 10-minute cardio workout in the morning.

Total workout time: 5 minutes

The Day After:

Feeling fine. Didn't get much exercise in. Still determined to stick by this plan. Motivation is good. Got to keep this motivation- it's really critical at this point.

The Resolution (x2)

I am going to get into shape.

Well, I know you’ve heard this before. I wrote these words on Tuesday, March 11, 2008- before embarking on a new quest to get fit, healthy and trim. At the time I was 150 pounds- and I felt FAT, disgusting, and embarrassed by my body. So I vowed to start eating better and exercising more. I stuck to that plan for a whole 9 days! Wow, I should have been proud. Sad thing is, it’s the most successful I’ve ever been at dieting. And I did well- I believe that, after nine days, I’d dropped at least five pounds.

Then the unthinkable happened- right around the time I wrote that entry, I became pregnant with my second child.

Isn’t that always the way? You really start to get into a groove, you’re on the right track…. And, pow! Life hits you in the face at a hundred miles an hour! Whether you’re hitting your career goals, your fitness goals or your relationship goals… pregnancy always seems to happen when you least expect it. Well, nine months after I made my first resolution, I gave birth to a beautiful blonde haired, blue-eyed little boy named Logan. And in less than a week, that little boy will be turning one year old. And it’s time for me to whoop my flabby butt back into shape!

In my last pregnancy, I didn’t just gain weight. I GAINED WEIGHT. I retained some water, had some swollen ankles… but mostly, I just retained FAT. I can blame that on several factors- working a desk job, being too tired to work out. I had some pretty bad back pain, which lead me to taking an early maternity leave, so that made it hard to exercise in and of itself. Also, I used that age-old pregnancy excuse… “I’m eating for two,” a LOT. I mean, a lot. I ate and ate a ridiculous amount of food. I sky-rocketed from 145 pounds pre-pregnancy to… (I cringe to write this! I really do!)

199 pounds.

Yes, I’m not kidding. One pound shy of hitting that revolting 200-pound mark. Eventually, I delivered a 9 pound, 2 ounce baby…. And lost some blood and fluids along the way. But that only accounts for about 15 pounds. That means that I gained a disgusting, unnecessary 40 or so pounds that I did NOT need. Holy mother of Moses, I was big.

And I’ve been fighting to get back to my ‘fat’ 150 pounds ever since. Honestly, at this point, hitting 150 pounds again would be a MILESTONE. I’d be THRILLED. Funny how perspective changes things, doesn’t it?

Unfortunately, my son turned breech in the last month- and I had to undergo a c-section. So, boom- right there, two months recovery time where I couldn’t exercise. And after that… well, let’s just say caring for two kids doesn’t leave a lot of time to exercise. I got on (and fell off!) the fitness bandwagon more times than I could count. EVERY SINGLE DAY for the past year, I’ve measured the overall success of the day by how much food I put into my face. And NEARLY every single day, I find myself saying, “Tomorrow, I’ll do better. It will be better tomorrow. I WILL start again tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Today was just a slip- tomorrow.”

Well, TOMORROW is today. It HAS to come. I cannot spend the rest of my life as a big girl! I cannot spend the rest of my life putting off the things I want to do because I’m too ashamed of my body. I want my (common-law) husband to be attracted to me again. I don’t want to keep putting off having a real wedding because I’ll look fat in the photos. I don’t want to be the person always taking pictures because I don’t want to be in front of the camera. When I look back at this period in my life through film, I’m going to find myself startlingly absent a lot of the time- which would be appropriate because I AM absent a lot of the time. I miss out on so much because I either cannot or will not participate. And I’m through with it.

As of this morning, I was 165 disgusting pounds. Which is especially heartbreaking because last month, I LOST 5 pounds. I was doing so well- then I gained back three and a half of those pounds. I’ve been eating a lot lately- garbage, mostly. I actually get more satisfaction from eating cake than I do from sex- isn’t that sad? The fact is, I’ve been dealing with a lot lately. My husband was recently diagnosed with some… medical conditions. Conditions he’s had for his entire life, that have affected his personal and professional relationships—but that he’s never been treated for before. Because of these medical conditions, he’s been on medical leave from work twice over the past year. He’s back to work now, but under strict probation. Any little slip, and he’s unemployed. I’ve been under a tremendous amount of stress and have found myself eating because it’s the only time I ever feel really good anymore. The problem is, after I eat, I gain weight. Then I feel worse. I really, really need to do something about this. I NEED to take control of my body. If I can’t even take care of myself, how can I care for my family???

I’ve returned to this blog because it really helped a lot the last time. I’m hoping to pick up where I started then- only this time, I’m DONE having children, so I know pregnancy won’t interrupt my plans. My goal weight is 125 pounds. My target date? Canada Day, 2010. This means that, starting today, I will have to lose (on average) 1.27 pounds per week. I need to restrict my caloric intake by about 636 per day. I CAN DO THIS. That’s really not too bad, right?

Realistic goals. Take control. If I can do this, I can do anything.

So, please, continue to read along with me. Offer feedback- I’m going to need all the support I can get! If you’re looking to lose weight yourself, please, share with me! I would love to have a weight-loss buddy!

We can do this together.

Tomorrow begins TODAY.